Being Christian

can get a little annoying when you are not actually Christian. Athiesm is a cultural no-no in the Arab World, where any faith (even Jews: as my family likes to tell me over and over again they don't like the Zionists, but they love the Jews. "We used to have Jews" they say sadly, before America pressured Syria into making their Jews go live in America) is better than no faith.

So except with very good friends, I am a Christian. Catholic, to be exact. It's rather easy to remember who I've told what to, as those who ask are usually those who it's just easier to lie to. This is rarely onerous, as few people get into the nitty gritty of faith. But for those who do, it's lucky that I once was very Catholic, so that I can convincingly pretend to believe. Plus, playing Christian leads people to rethink their views of a irreligious US, because in truth were I to be an "average American" I would be Christian, though I probably wouldn't travel to Syria.

But with my family and my private teacher Ibrahim sometimes I regret having told them the Lie because of how often I have to check myself and say things as if I were actually Christian. With Ibrahim this isn't such a big deal, especially now that we don't do much conversation (I now get enough of that from Life). But with the family this comes up a lot.

I especially hate getting quizzed by Abu Mazen, i.e. "How old was Jesus when he died?"
"33."
"Bravo!"
Or lectured by Abu Mazen. I have so far endured the Bible/Qur'an stories of Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Soloman, and others. When I attempt to speed up these recounts by filling in the details, Abu Mazen always, always acts surprised. Honestly, as a Christian why is it surprising that I know the story of the Messiah? The other night my family complemented me on being muthaqifa (cultured). "You know about politics, science, history, religion!" Thanks, but as the Catholic I say I am, the last part really shouldn't be all that surprising.

Sometimes I'm lecured on Islam, and the knowledge I have on this is also apparently astounding, but this is more understandable. But still, I get to hear how the Qur'an tells people to be clean, for example you can't enter into a mosque unless you washed and you can't pray until after absolutions, and women can't enter a mosque on their period, but don't get them wrong, "the Christians here are also very clean people, and good. They also cover their heads when they go to church." I told them that you don't have to be physicially clean to enter a church, but you have to be mentally clean (ol' State of Grace) to receive communion. But, you know, we do shower out of common sense and all that. They were shocked when I told told them that women on their period are allowed to go to church. "The Christians here don't do that," Um Mazen said somewhat disapprovingly, perhaps imagining a libertine West in which women are allowed to pray while bleeding out of the vagina.

I really hope the family looks to my frequent flossing and not the admittedly scattered state of my room to judge my cleanliness.