Sad Gay

Being gay (officially مثلي referring to sameness but in practice more often شاذ meaning irregular)in Syria must be hard. I was at Sibke park in a chi-chi part of town studying and went to the public bathrooms. In the lady's room, on the back of a stall door, the only graffiti in the stall actually was written (in English): "For girl only Nesreen" and then her number. After several hours of reading (during which I was only accosted 3 times by strangers asking if I needed help, or if Arabic was hard, or where I came from. One gave me a day planner) I went back to the bathroom, and found on the back of a different stall the same message from the same girl, this time in Arabic.

It made me really sad. She might really be desperate to write her name and cell number on the doors. Or she really likes strangers. These type of messages in public restrooms (especially mens') are old news in American, mined for comedy in sloppily put together films. But it was the only graffiti in the entire bathroom, and the only message like that I've seen here in 5 months (though I can't claim to have done a thourough investigation of all Damascene bathrooms, and my survey has been limited to the ladies').

I tried to imagine her life. Does she live near hadiqa sibke? Or elsewhere, and came to Sibke because she didn't want anyone she knows to stumble across her messages? Has she gotten any responses? I imagine the awkward meetings that would result. Would they meet first in a cafe, or public place, or jump straight to dark fumblings? It would be easier to conceal a gay relationship than a straight one often, as most parents don't get unnerved by their daughter's spending time with her girlfriend. Will Nesreen find love? or at least sexual release? Will she be goaded into an unfortunate marriage in the future?