I Almost Burn Down My House

I had thus far avoided any strange situations - no wild dogs or near-kidnappings - so it was about time I did something like almost burn down my house.

I came home Wednesday and went up to my bedroom after grabbing a snack. I was immediately struck by the smell of something burning. Turning on the light, I was able to pinpoint the source of the smell quickly: the giant smoking hole in the middle of my bed. I had accidently left the electric blanket on when I ran out that morning. I opened the window to corrail some of the smoke from the smoke-filled room, which added a rush of oxygen to the mix, increasing the present flames. So I grabbed the burning sheets and threw them out the window onto the roof, then ran downstairs to grab some water.

I ran into Um Mazen downstairs. "How are you?" she asked. "Fine, fine," I replied, running back up to douse the smoking hole in the mattress with the waterbottle. On the roof, I attended to the burning sheets with a mixture of waterbottle and beating.

I surveyed the damage at this point: the charred electric blanket and sheets were obviously unsalvagable. The mattress did have a large black hole on one side, so I flipped it. Luckily I never make my bed, so the comforter had been pushed off to side, and only one corner was slightly darkened by the inferno. The another blanket had been sparred all damage by virtue of its being on the floor. I looked around the room to the scattered papers, books, clothes, and other flammables, thinking shit, if I had come home an hour later, this place would have been an inferno.

I haven't yet told the family. In the morning, I brought the remains of the sheets and electric blankets back inside and hid them under my bed. Having an "I almost burned down your house that you have so kindly offered to a foreigner" conversation would be awkward in English, let alone Arabic. But I guess it's better than the "I'm sorry I burned down your house" conversation. I'm trying to avoid either. I can sneak out the sheets and blankets easily and replace them, but I imagine it will be hard to sneak out a mattress. The family is pretty much always, always home, so I'm going to have to make sure they are really really asleep.

Last night Um Mazen asked if I wanted her to wash my sheets for me. I think my "NO! That's okay" response was a bit too forceful.

On a related note: did you know that electric blankets are not supposed to be running all night while you sleep? No one told me this.