Achieving Dreams Without Shiny Hair

A couple of months ago, there was a commercial for Pantene. In it, a woman washed her hair, which became so brilliant and shiny she could change a sign reading NO WORK AVAILABLE to WORK AVAILABLE (I forget exactly what was written in Arabic - لا توجد وظيفة?). Seconds later, she emerged victoriously from the building, hair scintillating in the sun, and announced, "Now I'm a journalist!"

At the time, I scoffed.

Turns out, it might be easier than that. Even lacking shiny hair I was able to send a few emails, knock on a few doors, and a month later (it was Eid, then Christmas, then New Year's), hey! I'm writing.

It's fun. Today I got to go to the test run of the Syrian stock market. Wearing sneakers no less, because my ankle is still healing. Yesterday I chatted with a gentleman about Islamic banking. A week ago, it was pretending I know anything about art. I'm also visiting gyms and annoying sweaty ladies with my questions.

Telteesh

I happened to catch a program "Red Line" (الخط الاحمر) on the Syrian channel yesterday, when the topic under discussion was catcalling and harrassment التلطيش والتحرش. There was a group of young people and three experts all discussing the problem and if it was a problem and its reasons. I missed the beginning, but did manage to catch a young person asking if girls hold any of the responsibility for catcalling, with their dress and cause, you know, a lot of them like it anyway. Or if it's all the dude's fault. The psych expert rattled off a list of reasons why dudes might be hassling, including economic pressures, family pressures, and sexual repression. But despite all this, he is still a human not an animal and responsible for his actions. The girl is not.

I'm glad the expert said the girl is not responsible, but he still didn't refute that girls like telteesh. I am so sick of this. Everytime this topic comes up with my (male) friends, I'm told that Syrian girls like telteesh, it makes them feel good. Why else would they dress up like that, wear makeup like that? When I tell them, actually some girls don't, like me, I'm told I'm just a weird American. Syrian girls are different. That's strange, as actually I've chilled with Syrians who've told me telteesh annoys the hell out of them too.

The end of the show had some interviews with men, shot outside of the literature college in Mezzeh. "If you a pretty girl, do you catcall her?"
"Well if she's really pretty.."
"Of course"
One said that it's obvious she wants people to comment on her looks by the way she walks, or what she wears, or puts makeup on.

Because of course, if a woman takes the time to look nice she's doing it for the men on the street. She's not wearing makeup because in the workforce looking nice is required for women. She didn't put herself together for a husband or a boyfriend. She's not trying to look nice to show up other women because of the insane competition women are supposed to have with one another over looks. She's not dressing up cause, hell, she wants to. She's doing it for you, man standing near the SANA building.

The last guy interviewed said he never catcalls as it's disrepectful. That's some one's sister or niece, and he wouldn't want people saying that to his sister. While it's nice that he actually thinks of respect, it's strange that it's not disrepecting her he's worried about, but the nearest attached male. But even he agreed that girls dress up looking for comments.

While I don't doubt there exist some girls who live for the thrill of a random man sucking his teeth in appreciation, it doesn't apply to all of us. So shut the fuck up.

The Arab Version of "Moment of Truth"

There's a few channels here that play mostly American movies and tv shows, with subtitles rather than dubbing like Turkish soap operas. Two of my friends claim to have learned English from Friends. A lot of American shows also get remade into an Arab version: "The Biggest Winner", "Who Wants to Win 2 Million [Saudi Riyal]", "Star Academy" (American Idol), and "Sing For Me a Little" which is apparently based on some American show where people try to get song lyrics correct. I used to watch some of these shows back when I lived with a Syrian family. It was back when I was even worse with accents, and so I would understand the Syrian and Lebanese contest, and then have to turn to the family to ask "Gulfi says what? Morrocan says what?"

I was watching an episode of "Moment of Truth" with some friends when they announced at the end that they are looking for contestants for the Arab version. What? For those unfamiliar, "Moment of Truth" is an American television show where people tell their deeply embarrassing secrets on national TV for money. "Have you cheated on your spouse?" "Have you ever stolen money?" "Do you blame your father for this or that?" The person's family, is seated nearby listening to every questio and answer the truthfulness of which is determined by polygraph. The show is like a horrible car accident that you can not help looking at. I've seen about 3 episodes, and in each you could almost identify the moment at which the marriage is destroyed. It's amazing what these people are willing to tell the world, destroying relationships with their family and friends, for some money. One woman I saw went home with nothing after revealing some pretty personal shit and all you could feel was bad for her. It also makes Americans look like horrible shameless money-grubbers.

And now there will potentially be an Arab version. I couldn't believe it when I first heard, and asked my friends to confirm they said what I think they said. I'm having trouble imagining Arabs going on international TV to reveal their most personal secrets for money.

Americans, I have no trouble imagining this. We take insults to our honor regularly and often joyfully. I used to work as a waitress at a bar and smile nicely at men who told me things like wanting a beer with a side of me, or most eloquently, "They say girls in glasses are good in bed." They really say that, do they? Were I propositioned in this way on the street, I would have fucked a mother up. Verbally. But at work, I smiled and suggested they try chips as a better companion to beer. At the end of the night I was crowing about my $250 in tips, whoo! We have a long history of going on television to make complete asses of ourselves: remember that ancient "Newlywed Game"? And many of us Americans also don't have a very developed sense of honor or shame: Look at the kooky things we will do just for a Klondike bar. Americans also seem less beholden to theirs parents. When confronted with the gift of life bestowed by a mother and the years of care most parents giprovide their kids an American will likely say, "Fuck you. I didn't ask to be born!"

But honor is very important for many in the Arab world. Just look at how many of my girlfriends have to be in at 9 because their neighbors might talk. There are many, especially among the upperclasses, for whom is this not an issue, but those aren't exactly the type to go on a TV show diggin' for cash. If doing something private like putting on makeup (or brushing your hair) outside in the street is weird, just imagine admitting to cheating on your husband or wife on TV. And parents! People generally seem to have them in higher regard. For a lot of Americans, if your family disapproves of your dating choice, that's their problem. They need to get over it. Here, if your family disapproves you likely ain't getting married.

Of course there is no place on earth devoid of people selling themselves. Look at the prostitutes, for a very obvious example. But still, and this is probably really naive, I am having trouble wrapping my head around an Arab "Moment of Truth".

Of course my friends and I asked ourselves if we would go on such a show, with responses from "Hell no" to "Why not? I have nothing to hide." But everyone has something to hide, even if its not the worst thing in the world, there's always something we wouldn't want everyone to know. At least I hope.

Still, I am immensly excited for the this Arab "Moment of Truth", whenever it comes out.

So I'm a Dumbass

Ok, so Noor and Abdeen weren't supposed to be in France, but as my friend's mother explained to me, "on the border of France and Turkey." I told her France and Turkey don't share a border, but its not like I can be one to point fingers as I thought they were supposed to be in France. Still, Abdeen was trying to make his getaway via helicopter to Paris, then changed his mind to Morrocco when he found out Mohannad was his trail. Isn't Paris or Morrocco from Turkey rather far for a helicopter?

So I feel like an idiot, but less so as the Syrians watching with me also thought they were supposed to be in France as well.

Noor killed Abdeen, finally taking a little initiative after fainting, falling asleep, and struggling pitifully while in a softer and softer voice protesting "Get away from me. Leave me alone."

Was Noor raped? There's some hints that Abdeen raped Noor, and there's some that he didn't. It's hard to tell because while the Turkish version was apparently chock-full of French kissing and other sexy things, the Arabic version has been cleaned up, like everything else on MBC. So was a scene more suggestive of rape cut out, or is there no such scene and he didn't rape her? Maybe they'll discuss it tonight in coded language I'll have to concentrate intently on and probably have to ask a friend about. I've heard you can go on youtube and see scenes from the original Turkish version with all the sexy (or rapey) left in.

I promise no more Noor-related posts for a while, though the fact I'm this excited about a muselel is an indicator on the heat level here, which prevents me from leaving the indoors and participating in non-TV activities.

Nour Update!

Things are going crazy on Nour, the Turkish muselel dubbed into Syrian Arabic. Nour and the diabolical Abdeen, who is plotting to win Nour's heart from her gorgeous husband Mohannad, go to Paris for business. While Abdeen has been a douche for a while, we were finally able to see the depths of his depravity when Mohannad's family's factory caught on fire - a fire set by Abdeen's henchmen! People died and were injured, but of course not the members of the central family, except for Mohannad's sister who sustained a bandaid on her cheek. Ouch.

Nour finds out in Paris that she is pregnant. Yay fertility treatments! But she wants to wait until she returns to Istanbul to tell Mohannad face to face. But in the meantime - Abdeen kidnaps her! Holy shit! Now she is tied up in a very nicely decorated cave in near "Paris" and has not moved since Abdeen strangled her in anger when she wouldn't profess her love to him or eat breakfast! Is she dead? Mohannad has flown to "Paris" and is running around the streets, showing pictures of his love to passerbys and exploring the mountains (you know, the mountains near "Paris").

Which brings me to a complaint: This is worst Paris ever. Either I'm misunderstanding, or Nour and Abdeen are supposed to be in Paris. In France. A France that is so Turkish it can't be anything but Turkey, and I've never even been. Everybody in "France" speaks Arabic (and I'm assuming Turkish in the orginal), though that can be forgiven because every American show does the same thing. But all of shop names are in Turkish. All of the people look Turkish. The grandmothers are muhajjiba, while if actually trying to be in Paris, a bunch of younger girls would be too. When Mohannad goes to the police station, not only is the sign "Police Station" in Turkish, but behind the officer there is a picture of Ataturk. What?

I keep thinking, maybe I've misunderstood. Maybe they're supposed to be in Turky now, and were planning to go to Paris later. But then Mohannad's mother in Istanbul wonders if perhaps there are just mechanical problems with Noor's plane and she'll be landing soon. And Mohannad's sister calls Paris to ask hotels and things if anyone has seen Nour and has to speak French, the only time anyone actually speaks French throughout the Paris ordeal. But come on, couldn't they have at least included a stock footage shot of the Eiffel Tower, or greenscreen a Parisien street in the background?

I'm guessing the budget for a Turkish muselel might not cover an actual jaunt to France, but all I'm asking for is a little effort. When Mohannad is asking obviously Turkish townspeople if they have seen Nour, couldn't they all be in berets? Or have one guy in the background carry a baguette?