Amerrica

So it's finally come time for me to visit my watan. It's only a visit, for now, as I see grad schools and the family.

It's been a while, ya US. When I left it was Sept 07 and every one hated the government but there was mooooney! Now I'm half-expecting to find abandoned, decaying buildings where the luxury high-rises in New York were going up. And Michigan... things weren't all that great back in the boom, and now I imagine they'd be worse. Much worse.

Anyways, ya America, looking at cha in March.

Achieving Dreams Without Shiny Hair

A couple of months ago, there was a commercial for Pantene. In it, a woman washed her hair, which became so brilliant and shiny she could change a sign reading NO WORK AVAILABLE to WORK AVAILABLE (I forget exactly what was written in Arabic - لا توجد وظيفة?). Seconds later, she emerged victoriously from the building, hair scintillating in the sun, and announced, "Now I'm a journalist!"

At the time, I scoffed.

Turns out, it might be easier than that. Even lacking shiny hair I was able to send a few emails, knock on a few doors, and a month later (it was Eid, then Christmas, then New Year's), hey! I'm writing.

It's fun. Today I got to go to the test run of the Syrian stock market. Wearing sneakers no less, because my ankle is still healing. Yesterday I chatted with a gentleman about Islamic banking. A week ago, it was pretending I know anything about art. I'm also visiting gyms and annoying sweaty ladies with my questions.

French

When I began learning Arabic oh so long ago, and would say خ for ج, or mess up case endings, or find myself resorting to complex body language when completely unable to verbally communicate, I thought fondly of French. I was never a Francophile, and thought Madame Marsh unbearable in high school, but in retrospect it was easy. I took breaks from French, a year or two, but found picking it back up again in high school or college simple. Just a quick review of the irregular verbs and voila, I was once again one of the better students in the class, annoying the others with my answering questions and writing longer essays and doing extra credit comics.

Sure, in the four years since I last took a French class, I knew I've been getting rusty. But I could easily scan a newspaper. And didn't I translate for lusty Americans and Tunisian footballers in 2006? And don't I listen to France Gall, Brigitte Bardot, and Francoise Hardy and understand them all the time? When I went to Tunisia last year and I found myself telling people over and over again, seriously, just speak to me in Arabic. It's easier. So I thought I might need to brush up on those skills a bit. That's all.

I showed up early on a Friday morning to take a placement test at the French Cultural Centre. A French woman asked me things, and I struggled to say anything back.

It's hot in here, right? she said, and I wanted to say yes, but it is cold outside. I said "Oui, mais il est .... froid... fait... il fait froid..." I pointed to the window "...burra... kharij" more pointing. Silence. (What is French for kharij!!!) Defeat.

All the words I wanted to say were there, just in Arabic.

The women nicely, and slowly, told me that even though I might do well on the written test, I showed probably go into a lower level than I test since my French is better suited for miming than actual conversation.

I'm three weeks into the class now and all I can say is damn, Syrians be speaking some French. I though what with my mother tongue being much closer to French I would be a star pupil. Instead, every time I speak I have to repeat myself at least thrice cause the teacher cannot understand me. I have by far the worst accent in the class. I know Americans and Brits are famous for our horrible French accents ("But isn't it at least a little cute, like when French have horrible English accents?" I once asked a French friend. Answer: no). And most of the Syrians in the class sound good, and the worst are at least understandable. They also know grammer. I'm doomed. My only advantage is in vocabulary, as I am very good at guessing the meanings of cognates. Though I am at a loss to explain their meaning in French.

Every time we're called on to answer a question, I think how freaking easy it would be in Arabic. Like, I could just say it.

Crutchin' Round Sham

Sham while temporally crippled is interesting. For one, I had never noticed how many stairs are required to get to most things. But the lack of accesability is tempored somewhat by how helpful people are.

If they see me waiting to cross a street, cops or guards will run over to stop traffic and carry my bag across the street. My embarrassed, "No really, I'm good. Thanks. I'm fine, thanks." doesn't dissuade. I've even had a random car stop, a husband and wife with some kids, and ask me if I need a ride.

The pity in passerbys' eyes is getting a bit annoying. I mean, I ain't walking all that badly - I'm down to once crutch. But people passing by will stare, turn their heads around, with this look that just screams, "Ya haram!"

I told Um Tareq about the looks, and she said they're probably thinking, "ya haram she's pretty and this happened!"
"So if I was ugly it would be alright."
She laughed and said no, but haram she's pretty and broken.
"People think, 'Allah ma kamala'" (God didn't finish her), which made me laugh for a good couple minutes. And again everytime I catch someone eyeing me pitiably and imagine them thinking God was on role, then got to my left leg and said, whatever.

Hidden Camera

Is there a conspiracy among Taxi drivers and embassy guards of Sham?

I was trying to find a building and asked a guard outside the Belgian Embassy. He directed, I went. When I came back he nicely asked if I had found it. Why yes, thank you.
You're from Lebanon? he asked.

The day before I caught a cab to Jeramana, who told me usually he would refuse someone going to Jeramana, but because of my crutch he would go. Thanks, I said.
"You're from Jeramana?" He couldn't possibly be asking if I'm from albalad, right?
"I live there..."
"But are you from there?"
"I'm foriegn..."
"Oh, I thought you were Syrian."

What? This is getting crazy. I fully expect the next time this happens for a crew to jump out and say, "Gotcha!" People watching at home will laugh at how I believed people actually mistook me for Syrian, Iraqi, or Lebanese. With that accent! How stupid!

Not Even a Little Syrian

I finally have an interview at the UNHCR, no mind that I'm hobbling due to a Capoeira accident the night previous. I quietly wait my turn among the other candidates, not really knowing what I'm interviewing for: the day before I had recieved a call to be at UNHCR at 10:15 and ask for Ustaz Ihsam. When it's my turn I ask my escort if we can please take the elevator - it's obvious every step is painful for me.

Once in the room I and another candidate hand the Ustaz our IDs, and are instructed we have 15 minutes to complete a test of our Microsoft Office skills. The test ends and Ihsam asks me if I have my hiwiyya (ID) with me. I tell him the passport from earlier.
"You aren't a dual national?"
"Not Syrian."
"Your heritage isn't Syrian?"
"No."
"Oh... I'm pretty sure this position is just for Syrians."
"Oh."
"Did you not write on your cv that you're foreign?"
"Uh, no, but my name isn't Arab at all, and the first thing on my cv is that I learned Arabic at the Damascus University Institute..."

He makes a call and confirms that the position is just for Syrians. "We're very sorry."
I hobble back to the reception area, where they ask me how it went.

"Doesn't matter - the position's only for Syrians."
There's a man standing near the guard who exclaims, "But you speak Syrian!"
"Thanks, but don't have the nationality."

I hobble out to a cab to go back to Jeramana. I chat a bit with the driver.
"...and then it turns out the position is only for Syrians! Like, you couldn't tell from my accent that I'm not Syrian?"
After a minute the driver asks, "Which is nicer, Syria or Iraq?
"Iraq?? What do I know about Iraq??"
"You're not Iraqi?"

When I told this to a friend, she said some people are really stupid. Maybe Lebanese, maybe, but Iraqi? Impossible.

No Negotiation

The ceasefire today, while desperately needed to get medical and other aid to Palestinians, should not be taken as any kind of compassion on Israel's part.

The unilateral ceasefire reinforces what was already made clear by the pullout of Gaza: there is no negotiation. It is how Israel says, when it says. In 2005, despite the show the Kadima party made for peace, going ahead with the Gaza pullout against much opposition, it was not a sign for peace. It was a sign, among the latest and among the clearest, that this is on their terms. This ceasefire being the latest.

Hamas (and much of the international community) has been trying to get a ceasefire called since the beginning of the aggression, and actually was in favor of continuing the previous ceasefire, which, need it be reminded, was broken by Israel on November 4th.

Why has Israel called the ceasefire? Why now? Not because it has achieved its stated objectives, of destroying Hamas or stopping the rockets, though they are claiming that as of last week, international agreements have been made to stop arming Hamas. Of course, not breaking the previous ceasefire would have been an option to preemptively stopping the rockets (yet with no deaths - strange what diplomacy can do). And actually honoring the terms of that agreement and lifting the blockade on Gaza would have been nice too. But I guess the Palestinians are just supposed to accept whatever crumbs the leaders of Israel are willing to throw their way.

It certainly was that way throughout the Oslo peace process. It lurched from undefined time table to another with the backdrop of increased settlements, as Palestinians accepted limited sovreignty in a limited number of towns, separated from one another by Israeli-controlled roads and checkpoints.

It was that way also during the Israel-Egypt peace, when Sadat acquiesed to all of Begin's demands, giving up any mention of the Palestinians. It should also be noted that this peace was made to avoid the voices that had been calling for a comprehensive Arab-Israeli peace.

Just as today the Arab peace offer has been constantly ignored by the Israelis. It is not on their terms. It may offer full recognition and normalization of relations with Arab countries, but apparently Israel would prefer to declare peace on their time, rather than negotiate it. And among the consequences of the Gaza "campaign" is taking the peace talks with Syria right off the table. Whew - that was a close one. Who can blame them really, when as we all know negotiating is an ugly process - one might be forced to give up something in exchange for something else. No, better to rest on the assurance that as long as America has its back, Israel can do whatever the fuck it wants, ignoring the international opprobrium.

I'm glad the Israeli forces are pulling back, and the bombing campaigns are stopping, and maybe the people of Gaza will have some time to breath and start rebuilding. But there will be no peace and there will be no negotiation.