دعيفة وسعيدة

That didn't last very long. Yesterday, the third day of Ramadan, I broke my fast. I had run a shitload of errands, and was hanging with my friend Colin deciphering a newspaper (he's working on Jahin). The sun was brutal. Fuck it, I bought some water. ya haram! But it was delicious. Maybe with the promise of heavenly rewards I could have held out. Food, that's not so hard but water? That's just cruel. So I drank. I was weak and happy- دعيفة وسعيدة . But I guess that's quite common for me ever since I lost my religion, whereas in my younger, religious years I would have savoured suffering for god. I'm weak and hedonistic, and loving it!

My I-need-some-water position was reconfirmed today during the first day of classes. I actually tested into level 5, though with how the test went I had been readying myself for 3. Four hours a day - I can't get through that without something to drink. Food in my belly from a more recent time than 4am suhour would also be nice. Also, suhour makes me dead tired. Iftar at 7 means I'm not that tired until 11 or 12. Suhour at 4am. When suhour is over before 5 (after helping clean up and all that) It takes me a while to get to sleep, what with having just eaten and the tea forced upon me each morning. Another girl in my house also broke fast today with Coke and juice. I'll still not eat during the day (for however long that lasts on this, the fourth day of Ramadan) but give me that water.

Ramadan is Easier if You Sleep All Day

Thursday night after iftar I went to visit my friend Colin in Jeremana, an area of Damascus that used to be heavily Druze but now there's lots of Iraqis too. Not only was it the first of Ramadan, but it was also a Christian holiday عيد الصليب (festival of the cross). I don't think we have anything similar here, and I don't really know what it celebrates. I found out about it during iftar when we heard booms from outside. "That's the Christians celebrating." We went up to the roof and could see where people were shooting up fireworks into the sky. Bab Toma was quite busy as well.

In Jeremana, Colin, the guy he's living with Tariq, and I walked around before going At Raid's we mostly talked, shishaed, and played Old Maid. Tariq expressed admiration for Hitler. Why? Because he killed Jews, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Tariq admitted that he knows Jews and Israelis are different, and that the Holocaust was instrumental in gaining support for the state of Israel, and that it's bad when innocent people die. "Still," he said, "you have to admit that he is better than Stalin." Raid's sister joined us for cards. At around 11 I texted Huda to let her know I would be late. At 12:30 I thought I should go, but was convinced to stay. So I stayed until sohur (the meal before sunrise), getting home after 5am.

Woke up Friday at noon. Apologized to Um Zahir and Huda cause everyone told me they had been worried about me when I didn't show up for sohur. Turns out Huda's number in my phone was off a digit. Took a nap later in the day. This makes waiting for iftar much more bareable, but I won't be able to do this when I have class 9-12:30 tomorrow.

لن اتعلم العربية ابدا

متى ساصنح جيدا بالعربية؟ درستها اكتر من سنتين لكن من رجعت من مصر الى امريكا اشعر بانا في نفس الدرجة. جاءت الى سورياواعيش مع اسرة سوري تعلما وتكلما كثيرا لكن في بنات امريكيات في البيت. ممكن لازم انسي العربية و ابدء بالروسية او فارسية او هستمرمع فرانسية , وحدة من اسهل الاغان. ساحاول

Ramadan Karim

Ramadan began today. This meant Um Zahir woke us all up at quarter to 3:00 am for the morning meal. She knocked on my door and asked "Aneet, tasoumee?" (Are you fasting?) Well, once I'm awake, why not. We groggily went downstair and ate, before going back to bed at 4:00am. While we were eating the family recieved calls and made call wishing people a happy Ramadan, and found out that we were an hour early. The Ramadan calendar Sandra bought yesterday was off my an hour - ouch.

So I've decided to fast. Everyone's doing it, except Mindy who's been too sick to leave the house. Why are we all doing it? None of us are Muslim. But by fasting I'm adding to my white girl foreigner experience of this crazy different culture! What other reason do I have? My excuse is that fasting means meals with the family, meaning more Arabic. Sigh... only 3 more hours until I can eat (7pm). What am I saying? I can eat anytime I want. 3 more hours until I allow myself to eat.

I had my placement test at the University today, which just about raped me. Two hour test of four thirty minute sections: listening, reading, grammer, writing, and then an oral portion. I fucked up, but I hope not bad enough to be put in a horribly low level, at which point I should just give up.

I started talking to this Syrian girl while I was waiting for my oral, and I was telling her how I find Arabic hard. "I think it's beautiful," she said. Beautiful, I concurred, but still hard. "Language is not hard if you really love it and commit yourself to it. I'm learning Japanese right now and it's supposed to be a hard language but because I love it and the sound of it I love to study and so it's not hard."

Thanks. Arabic isn't hard, I just don't love it enough.

To Fast or Not to Fast?

Ramadan might start tomorrow if the moon is visible tonight. Should I fast or not? Zahir asked me today after my marathon with the bureaucracy whether I was planning on fasting. I hadn't really considered it... after all I'm not Muslim. I told him maybe, but I like food. He and Um Zahir laughed at this, but said I should think about fasting.

Lindsey is planning to fast. Initially, for solidarity with her Muslim husband. When she told him, he got mad, and told her that she shouldn't fast for him, fasting should be only for God. She set off to the Bible and a translated Qur'an to find out whether she could theologically justify her fast. She's fasting, she decided, for God. It's the same God.

I feel as though I shouldn't fast, despite Jolianne's "Ramadan Diet" success (this was just a good side effect, not her aim in fasting last year). I am, after all, an atheist and fasting for God is therefore not a possibility. Would it be wrong of me to fake piety? Or worse, fast for the aesthetics, meaninglessly attaching corporal and temporal concerns to what is supposed to be a religious act?

I won't be eating or drinking in public, which is rude when everyone around you is fasting. But what will I say when the family invites me down for iftar (the meal to break fast), and asks me whether I fasted?

Also, it's really hot and I can't imagine making it from 8am (classes at 9) to sundown without water. And a month is a long-ass time.

I Rock the Bureaucracy

I finally registered for classes Jama'at Damasq! This may seem like a small victory, considering I'm here to take classes, but it was hard, man. I had to get a letter from my embassy saying that they have no problem with my registering at the University, the AIDS results, and go to the University, with all three of these things on opposite sides of town.

First, the embassy, which has consular open hours from 8am-10am, and a long line. Michelle from my house and I took a taxi to the embassy (I know where it is now, since I walked there and back yesterday) and were there by 20 to 8. Waited on line outside. Waited on line inside. Sat around in a big room with tons of Syrians who want to come to America. Got out by 9am, went back to Hafes al-AIDS. Michelle had yet to get the test, whereas I just needed results. I tried to push her forward (students to the front of the mass of people). Michelle only arrived one day before me. I went over to the results window, and had to wait for it open. There were Koreans, Somalis, Italians, some Syrians, and mostly Iraqis. When he found out I was American, the guy sitting next to me pretended to shoot me with his gun-finger and said "Your country did this, you know?"

"I know."

"Ah but people are different than the administration right?"

"I voted for Kerry."

That got a laugh. Another guy heard I was American and wanted to speak English to me, telling me he had wanted to continue his university studies in America but, you know, the political situation.

"Is it true that if you marry an American girl you can get citizenship?"

"Um, after some years."

"Some American girls like to marry foreigners, right?"

"Some."

"And you, you are single or married?" He was looking at my obviously empty ring finger, so I couldn't lie.

"Single, but not looking to get married."

"Really, how old are you?"

"Too young." I mean, aren't you going to at least pretend it's my eyes?

By the time I got the results, it was past 11, but I managed to find the Bab Sharqi bus to the university. 5 lira later, I was in mezza. Registration took about 5 minutes. I did it! And with a day to spare. Placement test is on Thursday - I hope I don't bomb.

Hafes Al-AIDS and more!

I have to run all around to get registered for classes at the university - I have until September 12. Yesterday, Sunday, first day of the week, I tried to find my way to Damascus University, which I was warned was a difficult journey. Zahir in my house offered to help me, but a typical American I refused. I should figure this out myself, I thought. At Bab Touma I got a taxi to Jama'at Damasq, which was the event recounted before, with the fake fiance. But he dropped me off at Jama'at Damasq the campus for sciences, not the one I need. I wandered to street with a lot of students waiting for microbuses and two women said they were going to Kuliyat al-Adab (College of Literature) in Mezze where I needed to go. So they directed me to the right micro, paid my fare despite my protests. Finally, the Mahhad for Arabic.

I have to be back in a few days with my AIDS test, passport photos, a letter from my embassy stating they have no problem with my taking classes, copies of my passport and Syrian visa, and an application form.

This morning I went to Hafes al-AIDS, which is close to Bab Touma, with the two women from SOAS (School of Oriental and Asian Studies) at London University - there's an exchange program with Damascus University. I wanted to get out early, and actually woke up before 9 (yesterday it was 12:30pm - let's blame jetlag, and last night I couldn't get to sleep til after the 4am-ish call to prayer). The girls got moving a little slowly.

It was a zoo at Hafes al-AIDS. It looks like everyone has to get AIDS tests to do anything. I was waiting with a bunch of High School kids before I found out there was a seperate entrance for student and others. With the letter from the University we skipped the massive line out front and went to the "Students and Domestic Workers Testing Room". Others insisted I sit because of how pale I was, though I tried to assure them that I really am just that pale. "Domestic Workers" was khadimaat meaning only females. Next to our testing room was one for several groups, inclduing "Entertainment Workers". Now what is that a euphanism for?