Douchebaggery! Thomas L. Friedman

In honor of Independence Day, a reminder that free speech extends to douchebags:
The incomparable Thomas Friedman in his Wednesday column found it necessary to comment on the recent attempted terror attacks in England.

Describing the chaos, two bombs, and "Allah," he queries the reader "Where was I? Baghdad? Kabul? Tel Aviv?" You know, scary places. "No, I was in England." Holy shit! Terrorism? In England? Impossible gov'ner! "But it could have been anywhere. The Middle East: now playing at a theatre new you."

The overwrought drama aside (and his inclusion of Kabul in the "Middle East") this doesn't even make sense. Terrorism is apparently a new, exported Middle Eastern thing, like the hookah bars popping up everywhere. We can easily find incidences of terrorism in England's history that don't have to do with Muslims, or even the Middle East- several involving a little organization called the IRA. When there's a Tamil Tiger attack in Sri Lanka, is that the Middle East? What about Marxist rebels in Nepal? If shit blows up anywhere in the world is that the Middle East playing?

God no, of course not. Friedman clears that up for us: only if Muslims are involved. Looking at several events in the past couple years and the disparate identities of the terrorists, their disparate aims and methods, yet their common espoused religion, he concludes that these Muslims are fucking crazy and no one in the Muslim world is condemning it. Why are these Muslims angry? They think their religion is right and are all pissed off about the prosperity of non-Muslims. "This creates a real dissonance and humiliation. How could this be? Who did this to us?" Variation on a theme, similar to Bernard Lewis, that "They hate us because of who were are, not what we do."

First of all, Juan Cole has already dealt with this: there are denunciations of terror from Muslims - important ones too. Second, every religion thinks it's right to the exclusion of all others. Third, why can't Muslims or Middle Easterners (cause it's all the same, right?) be pissed off about real political events or policy? For example, cutting off aid to the Palestinian people when they elect a government we don't like. Or maybe, the Iraq war.

Silly me, Thomas Friedman is right. Muslims are crazy motherfuckers who hate us for our freedom- I mean our prosperity/their poverty/our porn/the Crusades, and if not lovers of terrorism, then at least chill with it. Otherwise, Muslims would condemn it, and Thomas L. Friedman says they don't. And he wears the moustache of truth.