Sham while temporally crippled is interesting. For one, I had never noticed how many stairs are required to get to most things. But the lack of accesability is tempored somewhat by how helpful people are.
If they see me waiting to cross a street, cops or guards will run over to stop traffic and carry my bag across the street. My embarrassed, "No really, I'm good. Thanks. I'm fine, thanks." doesn't dissuade. I've even had a random car stop, a husband and wife with some kids, and ask me if I need a ride.
The pity in passerbys' eyes is getting a bit annoying. I mean, I ain't walking all that badly - I'm down to once crutch. But people passing by will stare, turn their heads around, with this look that just screams, "Ya haram!"
I told Um Tareq about the looks, and she said they're probably thinking, "ya haram she's pretty and this happened!"
"So if I was ugly it would be alright."
She laughed and said no, but haram she's pretty and broken.
"People think, 'Allah ma kamala'" (God didn't finish her), which made me laugh for a good couple minutes. And again everytime I catch someone eyeing me pitiably and imagine them thinking God was on role, then got to my left leg and said, whatever.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Hidden Camera
Is there a conspiracy among Taxi drivers and embassy guards of Sham?
I was trying to find a building and asked a guard outside the Belgian Embassy. He directed, I went. When I came back he nicely asked if I had found it. Why yes, thank you.
You're from Lebanon? he asked.
The day before I caught a cab to Jeramana, who told me usually he would refuse someone going to Jeramana, but because of my crutch he would go. Thanks, I said.
"You're from Jeramana?" He couldn't possibly be asking if I'm from albalad, right?
"I live there..."
"But are you from there?"
"I'm foriegn..."
"Oh, I thought you were Syrian."
What? This is getting crazy. I fully expect the next time this happens for a crew to jump out and say, "Gotcha!" People watching at home will laugh at how I believed people actually mistook me for Syrian, Iraqi, or Lebanese. With that accent! How stupid!
I was trying to find a building and asked a guard outside the Belgian Embassy. He directed, I went. When I came back he nicely asked if I had found it. Why yes, thank you.
You're from Lebanon? he asked.
The day before I caught a cab to Jeramana, who told me usually he would refuse someone going to Jeramana, but because of my crutch he would go. Thanks, I said.
"You're from Jeramana?" He couldn't possibly be asking if I'm from albalad, right?
"I live there..."
"But are you from there?"
"I'm foriegn..."
"Oh, I thought you were Syrian."
What? This is getting crazy. I fully expect the next time this happens for a crew to jump out and say, "Gotcha!" People watching at home will laugh at how I believed people actually mistook me for Syrian, Iraqi, or Lebanese. With that accent! How stupid!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Not Even a Little Syrian
I finally have an interview at the UNHCR, no mind that I'm hobbling due to a Capoeira accident the night previous. I quietly wait my turn among the other candidates, not really knowing what I'm interviewing for: the day before I had recieved a call to be at UNHCR at 10:15 and ask for Ustaz Ihsam. When it's my turn I ask my escort if we can please take the elevator - it's obvious every step is painful for me.
Once in the room I and another candidate hand the Ustaz our IDs, and are instructed we have 15 minutes to complete a test of our Microsoft Office skills. The test ends and Ihsam asks me if I have my hiwiyya (ID) with me. I tell him the passport from earlier.
"You aren't a dual national?"
"Not Syrian."
"Your heritage isn't Syrian?"
"No."
"Oh... I'm pretty sure this position is just for Syrians."
"Oh."
"Did you not write on your cv that you're foreign?"
"Uh, no, but my name isn't Arab at all, and the first thing on my cv is that I learned Arabic at the Damascus University Institute..."
He makes a call and confirms that the position is just for Syrians. "We're very sorry."
I hobble back to the reception area, where they ask me how it went.
"Doesn't matter - the position's only for Syrians."
There's a man standing near the guard who exclaims, "But you speak Syrian!"
"Thanks, but don't have the nationality."
I hobble out to a cab to go back to Jeramana. I chat a bit with the driver.
"...and then it turns out the position is only for Syrians! Like, you couldn't tell from my accent that I'm not Syrian?"
After a minute the driver asks, "Which is nicer, Syria or Iraq?
"Iraq?? What do I know about Iraq??"
"You're not Iraqi?"
When I told this to a friend, she said some people are really stupid. Maybe Lebanese, maybe, but Iraqi? Impossible.
Once in the room I and another candidate hand the Ustaz our IDs, and are instructed we have 15 minutes to complete a test of our Microsoft Office skills. The test ends and Ihsam asks me if I have my hiwiyya (ID) with me. I tell him the passport from earlier.
"You aren't a dual national?"
"Not Syrian."
"Your heritage isn't Syrian?"
"No."
"Oh... I'm pretty sure this position is just for Syrians."
"Oh."
"Did you not write on your cv that you're foreign?"
"Uh, no, but my name isn't Arab at all, and the first thing on my cv is that I learned Arabic at the Damascus University Institute..."
He makes a call and confirms that the position is just for Syrians. "We're very sorry."
I hobble back to the reception area, where they ask me how it went.
"Doesn't matter - the position's only for Syrians."
There's a man standing near the guard who exclaims, "But you speak Syrian!"
"Thanks, but don't have the nationality."
I hobble out to a cab to go back to Jeramana. I chat a bit with the driver.
"...and then it turns out the position is only for Syrians! Like, you couldn't tell from my accent that I'm not Syrian?"
After a minute the driver asks, "Which is nicer, Syria or Iraq?
"Iraq?? What do I know about Iraq??"
"You're not Iraqi?"
When I told this to a friend, she said some people are really stupid. Maybe Lebanese, maybe, but Iraqi? Impossible.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
No Negotiation
The ceasefire today, while desperately needed to get medical and other aid to Palestinians, should not be taken as any kind of compassion on Israel's part.
The unilateral ceasefire reinforces what was already made clear by the pullout of Gaza: there is no negotiation. It is how Israel says, when it says. In 2005, despite the show the Kadima party made for peace, going ahead with the Gaza pullout against much opposition, it was not a sign for peace. It was a sign, among the latest and among the clearest, that this is on their terms. This ceasefire being the latest.
Hamas (and much of the international community) has been trying to get a ceasefire called since the beginning of the aggression, and actually was in favor of continuing the previous ceasefire, which, need it be reminded, was broken by Israel on November 4th.
Why has Israel called the ceasefire? Why now? Not because it has achieved its stated objectives, of destroying Hamas or stopping the rockets, though they are claiming that as of last week, international agreements have been made to stop arming Hamas. Of course, not breaking the previous ceasefire would have been an option to preemptively stopping the rockets (yet with no deaths - strange what diplomacy can do). And actually honoring the terms of that agreement and lifting the blockade on Gaza would have been nice too. But I guess the Palestinians are just supposed to accept whatever crumbs the leaders of Israel are willing to throw their way.
It certainly was that way throughout the Oslo peace process. It lurched from undefined time table to another with the backdrop of increased settlements, as Palestinians accepted limited sovreignty in a limited number of towns, separated from one another by Israeli-controlled roads and checkpoints.
It was that way also during the Israel-Egypt peace, when Sadat acquiesed to all of Begin's demands, giving up any mention of the Palestinians. It should also be noted that this peace was made to avoid the voices that had been calling for a comprehensive Arab-Israeli peace.
Just as today the Arab peace offer has been constantly ignored by the Israelis. It is not on their terms. It may offer full recognition and normalization of relations with Arab countries, but apparently Israel would prefer to declare peace on their time, rather than negotiate it. And among the consequences of the Gaza "campaign" is taking the peace talks with Syria right off the table. Whew - that was a close one. Who can blame them really, when as we all know negotiating is an ugly process - one might be forced to give up something in exchange for something else. No, better to rest on the assurance that as long as America has its back, Israel can do whatever the fuck it wants, ignoring the international opprobrium.
I'm glad the Israeli forces are pulling back, and the bombing campaigns are stopping, and maybe the people of Gaza will have some time to breath and start rebuilding. But there will be no peace and there will be no negotiation.
The unilateral ceasefire reinforces what was already made clear by the pullout of Gaza: there is no negotiation. It is how Israel says, when it says. In 2005, despite the show the Kadima party made for peace, going ahead with the Gaza pullout against much opposition, it was not a sign for peace. It was a sign, among the latest and among the clearest, that this is on their terms. This ceasefire being the latest.
Hamas (and much of the international community) has been trying to get a ceasefire called since the beginning of the aggression, and actually was in favor of continuing the previous ceasefire, which, need it be reminded, was broken by Israel on November 4th.
Why has Israel called the ceasefire? Why now? Not because it has achieved its stated objectives, of destroying Hamas or stopping the rockets, though they are claiming that as of last week, international agreements have been made to stop arming Hamas. Of course, not breaking the previous ceasefire would have been an option to preemptively stopping the rockets (yet with no deaths - strange what diplomacy can do). And actually honoring the terms of that agreement and lifting the blockade on Gaza would have been nice too. But I guess the Palestinians are just supposed to accept whatever crumbs the leaders of Israel are willing to throw their way.
It certainly was that way throughout the Oslo peace process. It lurched from undefined time table to another with the backdrop of increased settlements, as Palestinians accepted limited sovreignty in a limited number of towns, separated from one another by Israeli-controlled roads and checkpoints.
It was that way also during the Israel-Egypt peace, when Sadat acquiesed to all of Begin's demands, giving up any mention of the Palestinians. It should also be noted that this peace was made to avoid the voices that had been calling for a comprehensive Arab-Israeli peace.
Just as today the Arab peace offer has been constantly ignored by the Israelis. It is not on their terms. It may offer full recognition and normalization of relations with Arab countries, but apparently Israel would prefer to declare peace on their time, rather than negotiate it. And among the consequences of the Gaza "campaign" is taking the peace talks with Syria right off the table. Whew - that was a close one. Who can blame them really, when as we all know negotiating is an ugly process - one might be forced to give up something in exchange for something else. No, better to rest on the assurance that as long as America has its back, Israel can do whatever the fuck it wants, ignoring the international opprobrium.
I'm glad the Israeli forces are pulling back, and the bombing campaigns are stopping, and maybe the people of Gaza will have some time to breath and start rebuilding. But there will be no peace and there will be no negotiation.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Ad Hominum
I've traveled quite a bit throughout the Middle East, to places where people have good reason to be angry at America. From Egypt, where our foreign aid helps prop up a discredited and hated regime, to Lebanon, where we supported Israeli occupation of the south for some 18 years, and more recently, a war. Yet the amount of times I personally was a target of even negative remarks? Maybe twice... if you count the farmer in the countryside around Saida in Lebanon who, after giving me directions and asking where I'm from, said, "Ah America! No!" and jokingly mimed that he was pointing a weapon at the car. Then he told me about his cousin's son in New Jersey or something, and waved as we drove off. This was in 2006, a few months before the war.
The only other tme was a friend of a family I used to live with, who visited once and was very proud to tell me that he hated America and all things American. The son pushed for clarification, saying you possibly couldn't mean the people too? Yes, I mean the people. I hate them too. I won't even eat pizza.
I pointed out that pizza is Italian.
Whatever, I won't eat hamburger either!
I pointed out hamburger is German.
The man was steadfast in his hatred of Coca-Cola, the government, and the American people, but stating this hatred was the extent. And that is the one incident among almost two years total of Arab world livin' and travelin'.
From Iraqi refugees in Damacus, most of whom have had their lives and livelihoods taken away from them because of my government, I have never been cause of any negative reactions. Governments are governments, people are people, I'm told. Even when my country directly attacked Syria and people were in the streets burning my flag in anger, nothing against me personally.
So it is very sad to me that this enlightened view does not hold true in all cases. There is a lot of hostility against Syrians in parts of Lebanon. I've heard dudes saying how a car with a Syrian liscense plate in Beirut is going to be stolen or fucked with, no doubt. One of my friends who lived in Beirut the past six months told me how she had to be careful not to speak in Syrian when trying to find a job. And then there are the stories of Syrian dudes getting beat up. At one point a couple months ago I was considering relocating to Lebanon and my boyfriend expressed reservations - of course I'd be fine, as an American girl, but there might be some trouble for him, he said. I know obviously all Lebanese are not hating on the Syrian people, but it's very sad to me that there are some willing to take their anger out on people.
The only other tme was a friend of a family I used to live with, who visited once and was very proud to tell me that he hated America and all things American. The son pushed for clarification, saying you possibly couldn't mean the people too? Yes, I mean the people. I hate them too. I won't even eat pizza.
I pointed out that pizza is Italian.
Whatever, I won't eat hamburger either!
I pointed out hamburger is German.
The man was steadfast in his hatred of Coca-Cola, the government, and the American people, but stating this hatred was the extent. And that is the one incident among almost two years total of Arab world livin' and travelin'.
From Iraqi refugees in Damacus, most of whom have had their lives and livelihoods taken away from them because of my government, I have never been cause of any negative reactions. Governments are governments, people are people, I'm told. Even when my country directly attacked Syria and people were in the streets burning my flag in anger, nothing against me personally.
So it is very sad to me that this enlightened view does not hold true in all cases. There is a lot of hostility against Syrians in parts of Lebanon. I've heard dudes saying how a car with a Syrian liscense plate in Beirut is going to be stolen or fucked with, no doubt. One of my friends who lived in Beirut the past six months told me how she had to be careful not to speak in Syrian when trying to find a job. And then there are the stories of Syrian dudes getting beat up. At one point a couple months ago I was considering relocating to Lebanon and my boyfriend expressed reservations - of course I'd be fine, as an American girl, but there might be some trouble for him, he said. I know obviously all Lebanese are not hating on the Syrian people, but it's very sad to me that there are some willing to take their anger out on people.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Good Gaza Analysis
For excellent ongoing analysis of Gaza, especially on the political debate in the U.S and cutting down Israeli justifications for the aggression, see Glenn Greenwald's blog on Salon. Yesterday, he called Thomas Friedman out for supporting the textbook definition of terrorism. He blogs about other issues as well, but his posts on Gaza have been very good and very evenhanded. If they teach you to argue like that in law school, shit, maybe I should sign up.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Over 1,000 Palestinian Dead
Since the aggression against Gaza began, we have been watching the numbers of dead and injured climb while hearing the increasingly riduculous and disgusting justifications. I don't even the NY Times articles about Gaza anymore. The best news source by far is al-Jazeera. From the first day they have been in Gaza, reporting live.
But everyday we watch less. The first few days it was constant. Now, we switch to news for updates occaisonally. I can't take more dead and wounded children. Arabic television is much more graphic than American tv; there is no sanitizing war. The cameras show tiny bodies wrapped in shawls, parents wailing, people with horrible injuries.
I haven't written much about Gaza because I really don't feel I can add anything that hasn't been stated more eloquently elsewhere. The information is out there: Israel broke the ceasefire on Nov 4. The climbing dead and wounded. Hamas wants a ceasefire. Israel doesn't, as Kadima wants to look tough before elections. How many dead will be enough? And it's not as if anything I write will convince some one set against it. On the Palestinian issue, it's rare that logic or compassion actually changes anyone's mind. The response to the enormous loss of life is "What if New York / Seattle / Dublin / Toronto / Houston / etc was fired upon daily? Wouldn't you respond if everything you've got?" Of course the counteranalogy, what if your family was forced off of its land 60 years ago into a tiny strip of land, then punished for its democratic choice by months and months of midevil seige while food and medicine ran out and then bombarded by one of the world's most technologically advanced armies? That, apparently, does not occur to American politicians because they can see themselves as Israelis, but not as Palestinians.
I have also seen some criticism of the world response to Gaza, compared to the relative silence on Congo, Darfur, and Somalia. Ideally, media and world should respond to all of these crises, though the intranational nature of these conflicts is much more complicated then: Israel - Stop bombing the fuck out of Gaza! While some of this coverage inequality may be due to racism, as well as the news cycle (Gaza is fresher), as an American I see why American media SHOULD respond to Gaza more - those are our bombs killing Palestinians. It makes me sick to watch the news, then read about American politicians' steadfastness to Israel. We will continue to support the killing of a defenseless population. We will continue giving lip service to "peace" that asks of the Palestinians consessions on top of all they have endured and rewards Israel for its blatant violation of past agreements by excising illegal settlements out of the Palestinian state.
That is all. Tomorrow more amusing anecdotes.
But everyday we watch less. The first few days it was constant. Now, we switch to news for updates occaisonally. I can't take more dead and wounded children. Arabic television is much more graphic than American tv; there is no sanitizing war. The cameras show tiny bodies wrapped in shawls, parents wailing, people with horrible injuries.
I haven't written much about Gaza because I really don't feel I can add anything that hasn't been stated more eloquently elsewhere. The information is out there: Israel broke the ceasefire on Nov 4. The climbing dead and wounded. Hamas wants a ceasefire. Israel doesn't, as Kadima wants to look tough before elections. How many dead will be enough? And it's not as if anything I write will convince some one set against it. On the Palestinian issue, it's rare that logic or compassion actually changes anyone's mind. The response to the enormous loss of life is "What if New York / Seattle / Dublin / Toronto / Houston / etc was fired upon daily? Wouldn't you respond if everything you've got?" Of course the counteranalogy, what if your family was forced off of its land 60 years ago into a tiny strip of land, then punished for its democratic choice by months and months of midevil seige while food and medicine ran out and then bombarded by one of the world's most technologically advanced armies? That, apparently, does not occur to American politicians because they can see themselves as Israelis, but not as Palestinians.
I have also seen some criticism of the world response to Gaza, compared to the relative silence on Congo, Darfur, and Somalia. Ideally, media and world should respond to all of these crises, though the intranational nature of these conflicts is much more complicated then: Israel - Stop bombing the fuck out of Gaza! While some of this coverage inequality may be due to racism, as well as the news cycle (Gaza is fresher), as an American I see why American media SHOULD respond to Gaza more - those are our bombs killing Palestinians. It makes me sick to watch the news, then read about American politicians' steadfastness to Israel. We will continue to support the killing of a defenseless population. We will continue giving lip service to "peace" that asks of the Palestinians consessions on top of all they have endured and rewards Israel for its blatant violation of past agreements by excising illegal settlements out of the Palestinian state.
That is all. Tomorrow more amusing anecdotes.
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