Why do Dudes Sing to Dudes in Arabic?

This is something that has bugged me for a while. In most Arabic music, male singers often sing to/about ostensible females, but use all male forms (Arabic differs between the male and female you as well as he/she). At first, it messed up my comprehension:
"Why is he waiting for a man with his name tattooed on his arm?"
"No, it's a woman, his lover, she has his name tattooed on her arm."
"Well then he should say eeda and not eedu!"

I'll still mistake the third-person female (she) for the second person male (same verb form in Arabic) even though the second-person male is actually supposed to be a female! It's very confusing! And just... strange. If he means a lady, why don't he talk to her like a lady? Lady singers in Arabic sing to/about men, using masculine forms.

Most of my friends who I've brought this up to don't think it's that strange. "Oh, we're used to that. All of the songs are like that." There's no confusion. Of course he's singing to a girl, even though he's saying inta and bhbak (rather than inti and bhbik). Cause there's no way he would be singing to guy.

There are notable exceptions, such as Kazim asSahir's songs based on Nizar Qabanni's poetry, as Qabanni was all about the ladies. But for the most part, it's habibi, not habibti.

Possible explanations?

1) Melody.
This is what most Syrian I ask think. Try to sing "inti ghaliyya" in the same melody as "inta ghali" (Amr Diab). Don't work. So the male forms work better with melody. I don't buy this, as the melody or words can easily be changed around. I can sing "inti helwa" perfectly in sync with Amr Diab. Arabic isn't the only language with male and female forms, and somehow the others manage to sing to/about the ladies, addressing them as ladies.

2) Eib!
An Italian friend getting her master's in Arabic literature told me this theory. In classical poetry, it was considered immodest and rude and whatever to address a lady as such, so they used male forms. The convention continues. It's possible, though I've read some pretty rude classical poetry (with both the قديب and the ماء الحسن which eminates from it).

3) Respect.
I can't remember where I heard this one first, but I definitely heard it. The poet loved his lady so much and had so much respect for her that he would write to her as a male. A sadeeq is better than a sadeeqa! A weird theory, but possible?

If anyone has any idea or other theories, help! It's been driving me crazy for a year.